EYEBALL WITNESS NEWS MEMO TO EVANGELICALS:
What is it going to take for you guys to fall on your knees and beg God to forgive you for supporting Donald Trump?
Does it bother you in the least that your golden boy, the President of the United States of America is:
1) being sued by a PORN STAR;
2) refusing to impose sanctions approved by Congress against Russia for attacking our election process;
3) accused of being a pervert by 19+ women;
4) allowing people who failed to qualify for security clearance access to classified documents;
5) guilty of hiring staff members who are now either confessed criminals, under federal investigation, under federal indictment, or bailing out of the Trump Clown Car in alarming numbers; and
6) a self absorbed, delusional moron?
It is not too late, my friends, to make amends. Everybody makes mistakes. Set aside your pride.
Ask God and the American people to forgive you for helping to put a nut case in the White House, and get back to the business of being good people.
-Paul Howard Nicholas, Natural Light Network