In the wake of recent scandals involving prominent men who can’t seem to be satisfied with one woman, we often hear that men are “wired” to seek relationships with many women, or that these men are “just being men.”
But what does any of this mean? Are there any truths to these assertions—essentially that men are incapable of living up to modern social standards--or are they merely excuses for character flaws?
Any attempt to unravel the riddles of human behavior always starts with one question: why? Why would so many men, from the seemingly happily married professional, to the skid-row bum whose girlfriend shares her food stamps with him, find it so easy to betray their significant others at the drop of an eyelash, or a flash of a thong? Is the pursuit of sexual pleasure hopelessly ingrained in their DNA, or are they trying to live up to the image of a “real” man?
The following is an excerpt from a Natural Light Network interview with a remarkable woman who provided an intriguing perspective on the origins of infidelity, and the universal double standard applied to male and female cheaters. She identified herself simply as “Angel” and agreed to participate in this discussion provided there would be no further questions about her identity.
NLN: Opinions on why men are more prone to sleep around than women vary widely. Some say it’s a matter of biology—that men are “wired” to seek multiple partners. Others believe that young males are socialized to look up to the guy who “has a way with women.” And then there are those who define unfaithful men as selfish, uncaring individuals, lacking in character. Are any of these conclusions accurate?
Angel: Actually, all three are accurate to a degree. The man whose biological heritage includes an above average level of testosterone will probably cheat at some point in a relationship. But odds are that the man who learned to keep and compare scores of sexual conquests at an early age, and the man incapable of caring enough to remain faithful to his other half, will do the same thing. The more of these categories a man fits into, the more likely he is to cheat.
NLN: When we compare living standards in countries where polygamy is still practiced with countries that define marriage as the union of one man and one woman, monogamous societies appear to be the clear winners in all areas. And since men were responsible for the creation of laws mandating monogamy, why do countless men, after centuries of social and religious indoctrination, still seem to find the concept of having more than one woman irresistible?
Angel: Understanding the state of human affairs in the modern world requires a basic knowledge of a seldom discussed disaster on Earth that, more than any other, created repercussions that continue to confound, confuse, and impede mankind’s progress thousands of years later.
NLN: Are you referring to the Lucifer led rebellion against the Authority of Heaven on Earth?
Angel: Exactly. Nothing before or since has had a more lasting and devastating effect on the course of human history. But before we get to that, it may be helpful to begin with a basic explanation of what it means to be a human being.
NLN: We're listening.
Angel: Thank you. While it is true that no two people are exactly the same, the normal life cycle of every human being is a carefully orchestrated example of evolution, a unique re-telling of mankind’s collective history.
Like the original seeds of life implanted in the Earth’s oceans by Almighty God eons ago, every man, woman, and child that has ever lived started life as a single-cell organism in a nourishing, liquid environment. And from the moment of conception the tiny fertilized seed begins to grow and change, evolving into a much more complex life form capable of self-propelled movement.
Eventually, the fetus reaches a point of development that allows it to emerge from its watery world onto dry land, equipped with everything it needs to breathe air. Under the constant supervision of those entrusted with its care, the infant continues the growth process, learning to use its rapidly developing limbs to crawl around on all fours.
The next phase of evolution, a celebrated event in the life of every human being, gives the infant the ability to stand and walk upright. And as communication skills improve, the child soon learns to respect, obey, and imitate those in authority.
Subsequent stages of development elevate the child even farther above the animal kingdom. He/she starts to acquire a sense of humor, an appreciation for beauty, and a basic knowledge of right and wrong.
With the continued assistance of teachers, guardians, and role models, young males and females learn to overcome an initial aversion to each other and to socialize in mutually beneficial relationships.
Next comes the ability to address other social, intellectual, and spiritual challenges such as food production, housing, creating and maintaining stable governing bodies, the transfer of knowledge from one generation to another, and establishing an eternal union with the source of all creation, our Heavenly Father.
But what might happen if this process of evolution were abruptly interrupted during a critical phase of social instruction? What if adolescent children were suddenly abandoned by their elders, left on their own to survive or die, advance or regress, sink or swim?
Unfortunately, this is precisely what happened to the fledgling human race with the outbreak of the Lucifer insurrection. Of all the disasters mankind has had to overcome, this bold, brazen challenge to the authority of God led by a once highly regarded leader of a prestigious order of Angels has created more havoc than all others combined.
A biblical account of this episode in the history of mankind can be found in the 14th chapter of Isaiah, beginning with the 12th verse.
In the ensuing confusion caused by this unimaginable act of treason, when Angels loyal to God were evacuated, and work on Project Earth was suspended, primitive human beings were left to fend for themselves at a critical juncture of developmental guidance. Cut off from the wisdom of God and His representatives, mankind began a rapid descent.
Males formed bands of roving hunters dominated by the strongest members. Weaker males performed menial jobs and, like timid males in all-male environments, were forced to function as substitutes for women.
When these groups encountered other nomadic males, a fight usually ensued. The outcome was generally the same: the stronger group would kill their rivals, run them off, or absorb them into their own group.
The female groups were also ruled by the most dominate members, women capable of devising weapons and executing plans to protect the group from wild animals and marauding men. Docile females, like their male counterparts, spent their time preparing food, creating shelters, and looking after the children.
NLN: Did you say children?
Angel: I see you’re paying attention. We’ll get to where the children came from in a moment.
NLN: Sorry for interrupting.
Angel: No problem. The biggest difference in the lifestyles of males and females during this period was that males traveled endlessly in search of game, and females constructed dwelling places that they would spend their whole lives in unless they were forced to leave.
And while some groups of females may have been more successful in protecting their homes than others, the discovery of a female dwelling by a group of males usually resulted in the same scenario: the males would force the females into submission, rape them, eat their food, shelter themselves against inclement weather, steal their garments, blankets and containers, and leave with male children, if there were any old enough to bear burdens.
Fundamental changes in the way males and females related to each other occurred when they, because of repeated contacts, began to notice the resemblance of children to parents, and realized that heterosexual intercourse was the cause of pregnancy.
Prior to this period of enlightenment, neither gender had a clue about human reproduction simply because the lengthy period between a sexual encounter and the birth of a baby made the connection of the two events impossible.
Once this relationship was understood, however, the most intelligent males of the era began to recognize the obvious benefits of a heterosexual union. At the top of the list was the ability to produce warrior/hunter sons and gatherer/nurturer daughters to help in the struggle for survival.
A close second was the superiority of a comfortable, permanent home over the haphazard temporary dwellings of the nomad. And there was no denying the fact that the female gatherer’s vegetables and fruits went quite well with the hunter’s meat, or that intimate relations with a willing female was much more fulfilling, and a lot less dangerous, than forcing a woman (or a man) into submission.
Likewise, females soon realized that strong males could offer much greater protection for themselves and their children than females could ever hope to provide alone. And they also came to appreciate the nourishing supplies of meat the hunting males brought home.
Needless to say, the ability of the human race to survive this incredibly negative period in history can only be described as miraculous. It is a true testament to God’s love for all His creations that He did not abandon these orphaned souls when they needed Him most. Through a cadre of persistent and talented messengers He continued to minister to the most receptive of these primitive free-will beings until they were able to understand that men and women were meant to live together in mutually beneficial partnerships.
But in a world where numbers were the key to a tribe’s strength and stability, it didn’t take long for ancient tribal leaders to start doing the math: one wife, excepting cases of multiple births, could produce one new member a year; two wives could produce two a year; and on and on to as many wives as a man could provide for.
Numbers were also important to individual families. As men evolved from hunters into farmers and merchants, it became clear that more offspring meant more help in managing family enterprises. Greater production resulted in greater wealth.
Another incentive for men to seduce as many women as possible materialized when less successful males began to realize that a short cut to wealth could be achieved by simply impregnating a prosperous man’s wives with heirs. If blood proved thicker than water, the real father, upon revealing the truth to his children, could conceivably move to share or control his offspring’s inheritance.
And with this development, the economic implications of human sexuality soon became clear: a man’s amorous escapades could create an empire, but an unfaithful woman could lose one.
Unfortunately, this heightened sense of reproductive awareness led directly to women being defined and treated as property in male dominated societies, and it helped create a universal double standard regarding male and female promiscuity that exists to this day.
And so, during the dawn of civilization, the seeds were sown in the vast majority of cultures on Earth for an acceptance of, and in most cases the encouragement of, relationships consisting of one man and as many women as he could handle. The all time record holder, ironically, is one of the authors of the holy bible, King Solomon, who at one point maintained a harem of two thousand wives and concubines. Can you even imagine having to deal with two thousand cases of PMS every month?
NLN: Not in my wildest fantasies.
Angel: The upside of this pivotal point in human history is that men evolved from roving rapists to stationary husbands. The reality, however, is that men simply graduated from one form of infidelity to another.
But don’t be discouraged. There are a number of plans being implemented as we speak to help men break free from the evolutionary time warp they have become trapped in, just as there are numerous proposals being considered to address other negative consequences of historical events over which human beings had no control.
And if you should find yourself becoming impatient with the pace of progress, try to remember that a thousand years of Earth time adds up to less than one day in God’s Kingdom.
NLN: This is one of those times when words are inadequate to accurately express Natural Light Network's appreciation. And so I will simply say, thank you for sharing your knowledge and your wisdom.
Angel: Thank you for inviting me.
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© 2016 Paul Howard Nicholas
